Israel - Nimrods and Beefsteaks

Shalommmm!

I’ll never get used to hearing people say that. It sounds like some sort of strange magical word, like Abracadabra or Allakhazam. Another thing I struggle with is how this computer insists on aligning everything to right instead of the left and putting punctuation on the wrong side of the sentence unless I begin another…

But enough whining! I return, triumphant and relaxed from what the locals call a “Zimer”. It’s not just a single room, as the German Zimmer would suggest - it’s a whole little luxurious cabin with all the required comforts plus a few extras (such as the jacuzzi and breakfast in bed.) We explored nearby locations such as the Sea of Gallilei (where they say Jesus walked on the water) and Nimrod Fortress (from the 13th century.) How Jesus managed to walk on the sea without tripping onto his face, I’ll never know because it was hella choppy. Nimrod Fortress’ name never ceases to amuse me.

Main Entry: Nim·rod Function: noun Etymology: Hebrew Nimrōdh Date: 15th century 1: a descendant of Ham represented in Genesis as a mighty hunter and a king of Shinar 2 not capitalized : hunter 3 not capitalized slang : idiot, jerk

I interpret it as definition 3, not definition 1. Nevertheless, King or jerk, it made a fun playground. I ran around sketching and taking very bad photographs while Eyal wisely strutted about with the waterbottle and taking far more superior pictures. (So the images in this post are by him). We encountered a mysterious creature called “rock bunny” in Hebrew and possibly mountain rabbit in English. It stared at me with dark, bottomless eyes and bounced into hidden crevices.

I also managed to meet other exciting exotic wildlife such as a big, fat dead boar with his legs jutting straight up on the highway, a jackal who (as Eyal puts it) “became one with the road”, several live jackals, and a family of frogs attempting to cross the road. I think the frog-family got halved by the vehicle of observation.

We also went to a slightly creepily named steakhouse called “Doris the Butcher”. While the name reminds me of some sick mass-murdering widow who cuts up little sailor boys for breakfast, it was indeed a very trendy and chique house of MEAT. I had a very poorly named drink called NEMESIS. It was pink and sweet. Who the hell names a pink grapefruit cocktail “Nemesis”? Then we moved on to a huge appetizer which consisted of enough salads and side dishes to induce a near comatose state. Then, the 925g Porterhouse steak attacked us. It was meant to be the other way around, but we were already reeling from the appetizer. In the end we managed to subdue and devour it, but it was a very tough fight. Delicious. And it was nearly Kosher!

Today we returned from the Zimer. I assaulted a nearby mall and left with a ring with 3 little opals, an A5-sized legal notepad, and the book of 1000 rings. (Why do they call them legal just because they have yellow pages? Are the white ones illegal?) Tomorrow, Eyal’s grandmother, an art fair, and a street party in nearby Haifa. Tel Aviv beckons on Friday. Hopefully I’ll have time to come with more updates.

I did a few sketches at the Nimrod (giggle) fortress, but there is no scanner available here. I’ll make sure to put them up when I’m home!

Lehitra’ot!