Fingers, Babies, Monsters, and Hockey-haircuts.

Lately, I’ve not been too eager to blog. No, that is not true. I’ve been in the mood to write, but I have been unable to do so. I’ve kept myself too busy doing the things I should have been doing all along instead of blogging. :) I’ve been printmaking. Every day my hands change colors. The day before yesterday they were dark-blue, yesterday they were light-blue, and today the area around the nails is blue. Perhaps most interestingly, my fingertips are crimson. Ha! Red-handed and a little blue around the edges, that’s me!

I met an old friend yesterday and today. Well, not really old, as I’ve only known her from my first year of studying here in England. But she felt like an old friend. She’s pregnant. Very pregnant. Her baby is due in 5 days! She doesn’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. On some level, I envy her because it seems to me that she is about to start having a real life. I’m kind of meandering, flailing blindly through life, but now she has a house of her own, a goal job-wise (math teacher - will continue studying next year), a partner (the father), and someone special to take care of.
But this doesn’t sound like me. It must be because she let me touch her belly where the baby was moving. It stretched and poked a leg out.. and then withdrew. It was like feeling someone warm moving under a blanket. Somehow very real. Somehow, it doesn’t make the prospect of having a child so terrible afterall.