Abuse?

This is the last post on the matter I’ll make for a while, unless something extremely dramatic happens. I’ve been trying to make sense of the behavior of the person I mentioned in my previous post, and this is the only thing I could make of it: Abuse.

I found a website about Women Abusing Men. No, it’s not kinky shit, it’s serious. l know, the title isn’t too imaginative and neither is the layout of the website, but what the text says seems to be exactly relevant to the ongoing situation.

Here is an abridged version. Please visit the site for the complete version.

What is Abuse?
“To hurt or injure by maltreatment; To assail with contemptuous, coarse or insulting language; an unjust, wrongful practice.”

…

Women Abusers often fall into two categories:

1. Abusive Controllers: Women who want to control you so they can own you mind, body and soul. You are … to be arranged and managed. She is not interested in who you are, but only in whom she requires you to be. To her, compliance is love. Meeting her rigid expectations and giving her complete access to you, 24/7, is what she wants from you.

2. Abusive Consumers: Women who want to control you so they can have access to everything you’ve got. You are a tool … She is more interested in than the relationship she has with you. To her, giving to her is love. …

**Important to Note: Some women take on aspects of both these postures… it’s all about her, all the time. Your role is limited to what you’re doing for her, or failing to do for her.

The site goes on to detail methods of manipulation and abuse. And it is all so flabbergastingly familiar. Why did I never see what was going on before? And how do you get someone out of a harmful relationship like this when they don’t want to? So many times, my friend has said that this is it, this is the last straw, but he always always goes crawling back. And now, when the girl has crossed the line and managed to earn the alienation of so many other people, he does the same. What’s going on here? Why can the abused partner never leave?

I understand this is very difficult for him. This is after all, his greatest love of his life so far. But he must realize that this is bad for him, that this is hurting him, and that while it may so far be limited to mostly verbal abuse and scratches, it could easily escalate into much more dangerous ground. He doesn’t deserve any of this! He deserves so much better. He’s a great guy and it pains me to see this going on for so long now.

The problem is, I don’t know how to tell him any of this! All I can say is that I know that the rest of us, we who genuinely care about him are all behind him and are willing to help him no matter what it takes.