Age

Mood: Hungry *rawr*  Playing: Amon Tobin - Sultan Drops

As a kid, I had my role models. Big brother, some obscure cartoon character, a friend over the net… And I always wished that I were as old as they were (no, not the cartoon character) so that I might somehow mysteriously find myself on their level. They had a 10 year’s head start on me often, and I was sad for it. I could never catch up. “HA! I’m 16 now! But crap.. in a couple months, you’re one year older too.” In the case of my friend, I had to prove to him I wasn’t a child. Of course, trying to prove this is a proof of childhood in itself, but I knew that, and so I had to do it in other ways than direct words. I never succeeded of course.

Do you ever find yourself talking about someone, saying, “He was 7 years older than me” ? Me too. I last did it today. But he’s STILL exactly as much older than me as he was all those years ago. When do you stop ageing? When you die? Do you celebrate birthdays of celebrities who are long-dead? Do you say, “Today my grandfather would have been 87”? Well, isn’t he 87 despite the fact that he’s six feet under or on the fireplace’s mantlepiece? Or does he become ageless because he is no longer alive and thus not really partaking in the race to death? Does the body, which is that which has aged, suddenly become an object once the life is gone? Don’t objects have an age? Should you reset the counter when they die and start counting from their point of death? “It is now two years since grandpa died.”

When you’re 15, it is entirely wrong for you to have a 25-year old boyfriend. When you’re 25, 35 doesn’t seem like that big a difference. 25 and 85, however… Still, there are no strict rules once you pass 18. It seems only to be ruled by the views of society. But is there really that big a difference between a 15-year old and an 18-year old? It varies from life to life, story to story. I think I’ve been 21 since I was 15. I’ll probably stay 21 when i’m 50. (Won’t that be a sad sight?)

When you see a 17-year old girl and her 50-year old lover, you think the old man is the predator. But one year later, that very same 18-year old girl with a new, rich but old lover, and that girl becomes the predator.